What's that coming over the hill?
IT'S A SHEEP WITH A HUMAN HEAD!!
Personally I think that the writer of that article deserves a fucking medal for not freaking the fuck out like I am right now. If I'd been asked to write it, the headline would have been more along the lines of:
Now some of you may remember a rambling few posts I made last year about the dog-baby picture that was floating around the internet, and the fact that some scientists seem hell bent on bringing about the end of times by resurrecting the motherfucking dinosaurs by retro-engineering chickens. That's right, we're turning a thing we've been chowing down for since the dawn of the species into tanks with teeth. Way to secure our place in the food chain, dickheads.
As if that weren't bad enough, something crawled onto a beach in Panama late late year before getting stoned to death by a bunch of puffed up teens who thought they were in a horror movie:
Poor bastard. Check out those claws. T'aint natural.
Now I KNOW there's an explanation for each one. The Panama monster? Hairless Sloth freak. His mate in Montauk? Creepy decomposed raccoon. Heady the sheep? A mutant coincidence.
But what if, in my best Mulder voice, these are all but symptoms of something far greater and more disgusting.
What if our future... the future of the world boils down to a great battle between two forces... what if Dog Mutants riding Dinosaurs will battle human-headed sheep mounted on Panama Monsters.
And with the human Y chromosome crumbling as it is... the human race will be but a meagre resistance trying to get by in a Dog Mutant/Man-Sheep world!
We... er... we don't talk enough any more, do we?
So how do you write it off? Childish phase, or did you wake up one day with a smile on your face and an overwhelming urge to experiment with pastel colours?
Personally I don't address the issue and cunningly segue when other people look for an answer.
On 18th January 2010 17:46 (UTC), (Anonymous) replied:
Yeah I had a touch of that, don't worry - there's a cure.
How's TO? When are you finally going to visit the big city and hang out? I know where all the best shit is now, one day with me and you'll want to live here, guaranteed.